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I libri

2012-02-25T10:41:00.000-07:00

A while ago I was awarded book prizes from the Italian embassy (two years ago) and the Swiss government (last year) for, I don't know, high marks in my Italian classes or some such reason. All of the books ended up coming around the same time (late last year) and I was really pleased to have books! To read! In Italian! Books that I didn't have to pay an exorbitant sum to have shipped here! When I was in Croatia this past summer, my cousin Irena also gave me a few of her Italian books to take home with me, so I'm pretty well stocked for a while.

Then this week my brother gave me an early birthday present!!! Umberto Eco's The Name of the Rose is one of my favourite books and now I have it in its original language and I'm so stoked to read it, you have no idea. Never mind that I haven't even begun to tackle any of these books because I keep wanting to re-read old favourites, or graphic novels, or English books in general because they're much less effort -- but I think this one will provide me with the motivation I need.

Blah blah blah, I'm stoked!

This does not accurately represent the current weather conditions

2012-02-16T20:19:00.000-07:00

HELP there aren't enough hours in the day!!

Good

2012-02-08T19:12:00.000-07:00

It's a really great feeling when you realise that people have your back. That they're on your side. Even if they haven't known you very long but just think you're worth the effort and consideration.

(This glove has been on this tree for months. It's stayed on there through 100km/h winds! It makes me laugh every time I see it.)

Unseasonable

2012-02-05T18:19:00.000-07:00

Boy, I've been raised from the dead

2012-02-02T17:04:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like you're in a book or movie and have your very own antagonist? Cripes! Some people take being a pain in your ass so seriously it's as if they're getting paid to do it.

I've been busy and I can't (and won't) complain, but the weather has been so stunning (10ºC in late January in Calgary??) and I wish the days were longer already so I could have a little more time to appreciate and take advantage of it.

I was looking through a National Geographic book called Drives of a Lifetime, which just details 500 incredible trips to take in your car. KILLING ME. Pretty sure I should just cross out the title and write "LIFE GOALS" over it. Southern Alberta/the Rockies are listed in it which made me unreasonably happy. And impatient for the summer to return.

But winter isn't so bad, especially when it behaves like it has lately. I could get used to this, but I know better. I will admit to wishing for a few days of -40ºC weather sometime in late February or March (preferably coinciding with days I have off!) just to kill those pesky pine beetles and other creepy crawlies that are considering coming out early. Sorry! But my love of summer is only sullied by big-ass spiders showing up on my porch and if there's a way for them to not... I'll take it.

Science Centre

2012-01-24T22:35:00.000-07:00

Went to the new Science Centre!

Things kids made to try to match the colour of the sky outside.

Make music with photo collages! Would have been even cooler if either Nichole or I were musically gifted.

I just love that one of their science tools is a wooden spoon.

A photo of the sky every 10 seconds (or something like that) projected on the floor.

We're five years old and made a house out of hot glue and toothpicks. Also befriended a little boy. Who later ran by me in the "Being Human" exhibit, made a beeline for the cross-section of the male body, and yelled "DAD! CAN WE LOOK AT THE PENIS!!!" in the most excited voice ever. Best! Dad found it less funny than I did.

Forse fa male eppure mi va

2012-01-20T00:07:00.000-07:00

Best things:
• profiteroles
• being barefoot under blankets
• almond milk, which tastes like heaven (but is tragically low in calories and protein)

Lately I tend to put on classical music while reading. In the summer windows and patio doors are always open and neighbourhood sounds always filter in. Qind chimes and birds and children in the day, frogs and coyotes in Fish Creek park during the night; the atmosphere is perfect. When it's -30ºC, though, the windows are frozen shut and even if I could pry one open, why would I want to? So instead I try to fill the silence with something else -- and I've turned to classical music lately because anything with words would be too distracting and also this way I can pretend to be a classy dame. While re-reading His Dark Materials and wishing I had a gibbon dæmon. Super high class, y'all!

It's the sigh of wild electricity

2012-01-16T10:48:00.001-07:00

How quickly the weather changes. The last few weeks had been incredible -- consistent above zero temperatures, several records broken (15ºC on January 4th!), and the shining sun melting the ice on the roads. It deceived my senses, made it feel like late March and like spring was just around the corner. Fortunately I knew better than that, so yesterday's snowstorm and today's windchill of -36ºC came as no surprise.

But on Friday the day was stunning... riiight up until I decided to take advantage of it and head to the woods, when the wind picked up and made it unbearable to be outside. Typical!!

Manta manta manta

2012-01-09T11:30:00.000-07:00

2012 resolution:
• don't buy any more books until the to-read pile is down to ten or less, cripes

Nine days in and I already almost broke this! Several times.

Today I just want to stay home and sing along to Balkan pop music.

2011 | MMXI

2011-12-31T08:28:00.000-07:00

2009 • 2010

Remembories

2011-12-29T23:18:00.000-07:00

Nighttime rides through swanky decorated neighbourhoods + hot cocoa + great company = good remembories! Happy holidays!!!

(FYI this is the Serbo-Croatian for "Happy Christmas!")

I listen to its wind as a choir

2011-12-26T23:11:00.000-07:00

Things:

• sometimes when I get the hiccups I miss them after they're gone

• whatever happened to the plans for manned missions to Mars? Just thinking about the possibility years ago made me feel so excited and awed, and now it feels like they've put it on the back burner indefinitely. I want to be alive to see it happen :'(

• on a similar note, the moon was massive in the morning sky a week or so ago and it made me have a "HOLY SHIT I am on a planet in space, life is amazing" moment

• it's absolutely perfect outside this week -- it's warm (okay, it's 5ºC, but these are the prairies in winter) and it smells incredible and I never want it to end

• this is John Nightingale, the CEO and President of Vancouver Aquarium:

does he... remind you of anyone...?

(I miss Jack.)

Sacco

2011-12-22T11:26:00.001-07:00

I am in love with Joe Sacco's work. I'd read some before, years ago, but I guess I had forgotten how powerful it was. I picked up his three graphic novels on the war in Bosnia again recently and was blown away.

I don't make it a secret that I have beef with people like Angelina Jolie and Steven Galloway taking the war and exploiting it for their own ends. People who weren't there and didn't experience it and were in no way affected. There are enough of us to tell our own stories -- we don't need some Hollywood humanitarian to do it for us, thank you very much. We aren't a charity case. I could rant on and on about this, but I won't (right now) -- I just wanted to make the point that I view Joe Sacco's work as completely different, because he was there. Because he didn't take the war and use it as the romanticized base of some fictional story (his work is comic journalism -- a genre I really wish there was more of). Because these were his experiences as well. And because he made a huge effort to ensure that he was telling these stories just as the people wanted them to be told, acting more as a venue for their voices than as a storyteller himself.

A special edition of Safe Area Goražde has come out now since I last read it and it's SO EXCELLENT. There's a new introduction and Sacco's own reflections on that time, a bit more insight into how and why he got there, what his motivations were, and just extra information that adds so much to the book. I liked this part in particular because he put into words what was already really apparent in his work:

"As always when I am reporting, I took photos for reference. It was very important to get the look of Goražde right. This was a particular town, and I wanted those who lived there to recognize not just the streets, the bridges, and the contours of the roads, but also the atmosphere, the wounds on their buildings, and the look on people's faces." (p. xxiii)

(This is the best one, in my opinion. It's the longest, most depressing, most horror-filled of the three. It's incredible, moving, honest, heart-breaking, graphic. Real. It took me so much longer to get through than the first two because I kept setting it down to cry...)

Long story short: read all of Joe Sacco's work (his other books are on Palestine -- I'm getting them ASAP). If you want to know more about the war, it's an incredible insight. If you don't, he's still an amazing artist, and that alone is worth supporting.

Forest friends

2011-12-18T14:16:00.000-07:00

---------

I'm running and I won't touch ground

2011-12-07T22:48:00.000-07:00

IT'S COLD

Things:
• FOOD RULES (I was so hungry)
• I have the next three days off, and I'm just going to fill them with sleeping, cooking, eating, reading, and mojitos, pretty sure this is the best course of action
• remote car starters are the best invention and I would like to enter into a civil partnership with mine
• that Matthew Wilder song ("ain't nothin' gonna break my stride, nobody's gonna slow me down, oh no, I got to keep on movin'") is stuck in my head and I never want it to become unstuck
• chocolate-covered mango and banana pieces
• that reminds me, it's the best time of the year: chocolate orange time!!
• I'm already undressed but now I really want to drive to the store and get a chocolate orange
• this book:

(by Mac Barnett and Kevin Cornell)

It gives my life meaning.

Winter

2011-12-03T09:30:00.000-07:00

Opet mi se budi tuga, tuga najveća,

koju nosi snijeg s planina, vjetar ravnica...

Tuga, ti i ja by Crvena Jabuka on Grooveshark

Summer always feels new. Every summer is filled with promise and possibilities, and memories of summers past are quickly put aside to make room for everything the present has to offer.

In contrast, winter is always tinged with the memories of winters gone by. They aren't clear cut memories of specific events, but vague feelings of nostalgia that flood over me on night drives through lit up streets. The biting cold and the length it lasts I could do without, but the coziness and comfort of hot drinks, holiday lights, blankets, books, fireplaces, quaint cafés, fat snowflakes, and nostalgia are welcome to stay awhile.

There were some insane winds happening around the world this week. We got hurricane strength gusts here on Sunday and it was insane -- downtown was completely closed off to traffic and pedestrians (debris whipped around, windows blown out, fun times all around.) I didn't feel comfortable driving to work because I was afraid I'd veer and hit the curb (fun fact: the next day, when there was absolutely no wind, I VEERED AND HIT THE CURB. Fortunately it only hurt the hubcap, but man. It's like the universe was mocking me.) or that a branch would fall on my car (I park under massive old trees!) so I got a ride instead -- and not fifteen minutes later a tree fell clean across the road where we all park. It was incredibly lucky (and unlikely) that no one was parked in that space so all that happened was that we lost an old and dry tree.

When I was walking through these big trees in Fish Creek, the wind was (only) about 50km/h and it was the weirdest thing. Trees make some strange, ghostly sounds. Is it normal for the ground to creak?

Note to self: buy more practical boots, and return here for a winter-time picnic!

It was beautiful and serene being here for a moment, even with the wind whipping the tall tree tops around (or maybe because of that.) What I've always loved about Fish Creek is that it's right in the middle of Calgary, but you can walk five minutes and look to any side and feel like you're completely removed from the city. The sudden sound of chainsaws woke me from my reverie, and to be completely honest, it wasn't unwelcome. I was freakin' cold and the thought of being close to a warm car was niiice!

Then the sun came out.

And I still dream in colour even though I sing the blues

2011-11-25T11:19:00.000-07:00

Measures & Scales by Jill Barber on Grooveshark

The effortlessly lovely Jill Barber played the near-perfect venue of Knox United Church this week. I say near-perfect because the pews are so danged uncomfortable and after about five minutes you can't feel your butt anymore. Everything else about Knox is incredible (those acoustics!) and perfectly suited for a voice like Jill's. But -- we brought cushions this time and thus made certain that it would be perfect. And it was!

The only thing I'd ask for is more of Jill + acoustic guitar.

I don't bring my camera to shows much anymore (some places don't allow it, and some people play cozy little places where we end up right by the stage, and I don't want to be that person shoving their big ass lens into a musician's face) but I couldn't resist when I knew I'd be seeing someone so lovely and photogenic!

Spot the violin hickey!

Favourite!

Jill invited Calgary's mayor Naheed Nenshi to the show and because the man has excellent taste, he showed up! The next day I had lunch with a colleague at a table next to him and his (I assume City Hall) posse. The day after that I quickly scarfed down a greasy burger for lunch. Oh, how the mighty fall!

Royal Alberta Museum

2011-11-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

The one time that I remember to take my camera with me to Edmonton and it's -30ºC the whole time! Being outside for more than a minute didn't even come into consideration, so we went to the Royal Alberta Museum instead. Not a bad trade-off!

Taxidermy kind of creeps me out but that was outweighed by the admiration of the crazy amount of detail that clearly went into each diorama. I did some reading later and apparently each scene takes around 18 months to finish and requires an artist (to paint the background,) a foreground preparator (to make leaves, flowers, sand, etc.,) and a taxidermist (for obvious reasons.) Pretty intense! And with good results -- the scenes were beautifully done.

This is pretty much what it looked like outside though. I only wish I had encountered a live caribou!

I'm not even going to pretend I didn't laugh obnoxiously at this little guy. I'm also not going to pretend it wasn't out of complete jealousy. Why does my hair not do that?

First thought: "Coyote babies! Awww!" Second thought: "Stuffed... coyote babies... oh..."

As interesting as the dioramas were, all they really did was make me want to see all these animals in real life. Alive. Maybe the mountain lion not quite so up close and personal, but, you know. I will say that stuffed mounts are much easier to take photos of than living, moving animals. But the experience is nowhere near the same.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love geology exhibits? I know nothing about geology except that I LOVE THE EARTH. It makes the greatest stuff!!

I would like this in my life.

EARTH. Teach me your secrets!!

Another reason I love geology exhibits -- ooh the shiny shiny!

Every single specimen they had made me want to go spelunking. Or, more likely, go (to my heated) home and watch the "Caves" episode of Planet Earth.

After the geology exhibit they had live bugs and oh, man. The beetles and cockroaches were fascinating. The tarantulas were MESMERIZING despite the fact I become paralyzed when I see a spider 1/16th their size (and in fact I couldn't even look at the black widow and whatever the hell else they had there without wanting to vomit.) I don't know! Maybe it's because tarantulas are bigger and furry and look more like some sort of animal than a spider? I even stood there thinking "man, I think I could probably let one of those walk on me. In a controlled, laboratory environment. With a fully trained handler right next to me." Full disclosure: 100% certain I would feel completely different were a tarantula in my house. Pretty sure I'd cry and then not sleep again for the rest of my life.

The Birds of Alberta wall was SO COOL. I totally get why people go birdwatching.

Because if you thought you might see this, wouldn't you want to go with them??

Blah blah blah in conclusion: museums rule.

Catching rides to the outskirts, tying faith between our teeth

2011-11-12T20:36:00.000-07:00

Most likely the last pre-snow (well...) drive of the year... but I don't think I could have asked for a better one.

I'm torn between thinking this buddy looks beautiful and natural (name that Hawksley song!) and majestic, and chuckling at the unibrow.

But really I just love this. All of this. Drives outside of the city and the open roads and the farms and the views and the mountains rising up in front of you and the wildlife that doesn't shy away (on the contrary -- sometimes the deer stand in the middle of the road and look at you like "What? I'm eating here. Why don't you just go around?") There is nothing quite like the soul-healing properties of nature and living in a city where it's so accessible is incredible and makes me feel unbelievably fortunate.

Can one ever tire of the mountains?

I wish I knew where this spot was so we could return next summer when the weather is perfect and everything is green and stunning. The only downside of driving without a purpose and without a map and without a sense of direction is that it makes it difficult to find those places again. But maybe that's a good thing, too. You accept it and appreciate it as a fleeting moment, and if you find it again -- it's all the sweeter.

Bighorn sheep ewe and lamb break:

Ah-ah-awww :')

I think we made a new friend!

And were then promptly mooned. Or are they... presenting...?

Oh, yeah! We then drove into the mountains and into some snow.

Which turned into some more snow.

Which turned into a legit snowstorm. We passed through it into clear weather on the other side of the mountain. Typical Alberta shenanigans! I can only imagine how incredibly beautiful it's all going to be when the real winter comes and all the trees are covered in fresh snow, but my desire not to die in a ditch sort of outweighs my desire to see that (sort of...)

I suppose the wait until next summer and more frequent and more far-reaching drives will make it all the more satisfying...

Penny Plain

2011-11-06T22:31:00.001-07:00

If ever you get the chance to see a show by Ronnie Burkett and don't immediately jump on it, you are a fool and bound to miss out on one of the greatest theatrical experience of your life.

Burkett is an amazing Canadian (Albertan at that!) puppeteer who not only possesses a talent for the art of puppetry (and making his own marionettes!) but is also an incredibly poignant and moving storyteller. Nichole and I saw Billy Twinkle last year and adored it, so the moment we saw he was putting something on again this season we immediately made plans to go.

(Photo from CTV Calgary)

Penny Plain was incredible. Apocalyptic, moving, hilarious, overwhelming, bleak, stunning, and stupefying. It rendered us both speechless. Ronnie Burkett has a gift and in me a fan who will see anything and everything he creates in the future.

(Photos from the Calgary Herald)

Feeling a little emotional today

2011-11-01T16:41:00.000-06:00

I think I sobbed more watching this than I did in my therapy session. Portia discusses her book and her struggle with an eating disorder and her self-image, and she does so with the person she's in love with which makes it so much more intimate and candid. I may not be able to relate to the eating disorder, but man. Low self-worth feels pretty similar across the board regardless of the root cause. Unbearable Lightness just cut in line to move to the front of my list of books to read next. And I know the interview is a year old, but I hadn't seen it before and I guess I watched it on a day when I was feeling particularly vulnerable anyway, so maybe that's why I'm feeling so moved.

(Also, Portia and Ellen are my favourite couple, and this is well worth watching just for the heart-warming parts!)

Kasno je za kajanja

2011-10-26T10:23:00.000-06:00

A few useful websites:

http://www.librarything.com/ -- keep track of the books you've read and get recommendations based on what you like!

http://canadianbookshelf.com/ -- cool database of Canadian works and authors. I like the 'recommended reading' section best.

http://www.whichbook.net/ -- recommends books based on what you're in the mood to read! Do you want something funny AND violent? You got it!

Love,
your friendly neighbourhood bibliophile

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A little bit more of pre-snow Calgary:

Made me laugh!

Spying on geese through some reeds.

I said I missed colour, and that was unfair to fall because there is so much colour all around!

Ehhhh

2011-10-22T16:23:00.000-06:00

There are some really beautiful things in some very unlikely places if you just take a look. Case in point: this field-hill of summer flowers was right behind a Costco. I miss colour.

And I would love it if we could get some rain before the snowstorms begin!

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I haven't done these in a while, so here are some nail-polish-self-portraits/whatever they are:

What the hell is wrong with my wrist?

My cousin sent me this dark green crackle for my birthday :') and that lovely leafy ring!

And a set of four pretty pastel colours!

Attempted to do the very popular galaxy nails...

I liked that I matched my coffee.

Canada Day! I have a variation of this same thing on right now, but with mint and pale lilac.

And also, Nichole's post-Europe nails!! Depicting the flags of the countries she visited. LOVE IT. Puts anything I've ever done to shaaaame.

I have been painting my nails since then, but I kind of stopped taking photos... I don't know. I think it was originally a year-long self-imposed project and I did do it for over a year so... good! Accomplished! Bye!

Autumn's Here

2011-10-18T20:18:00.000-06:00

You can tell by the wind

by fresh cut wood

all stacked to dry

that autumn's here

and it makes you sad

about the crummy summer we had

with pine trees creaking

the ravens screeching

just like the story my grandma tells

about when a bird hits your window

and someone you know

is about to die

autumn's here, autumn's here

it's okay if you want to cry

'cause autumn's here, autumn's here, autumn's here

so find a sweater

and you'll be better

until the kindling is tinder dry

we can be quiet

as we walk down

to see the graveyard

where they are now

I wonder how

they brought their piano

to Holdene Hill

from Old Berlin

be hard to keep it

it well in tune

with winters like the one

that's coming soon

'cause autumn's here, autumn's here

it's time to cry now

that autumn's here, autumn's here, autumn's here

it's okay if you want to cry

'cause autumn's here

I think that ghosts like

the cooler weather

when leaves turn colour

they get together

and walk along these

these old back roads

where no one lives and

and no one goes

with all their hopes set

on the railway

that never came and
that no one stayed

I guess that autumn

gets you remembering

and the smallest things

just make you cry

autumn's here

autumn's here
it's time to cry

'cause autumn's here

autumn's here

it's okay now

'cause autumn's here

Et cetera

2011-10-16T22:20:00.000-06:00

One of the last days of summer that I ventured into the woods. The mosquitoes will NOT be missed. Hey, wasn't it fun when they attacked my bare back those times and it looked like I had bacne? By "fun" I mean "you are the only insect I don't feel guilty about killing."

That cloud is a heart! Also, freakin' prairie sunsets. What would I do without you?

No hearts here, but I loved the colours and that evening's atmosphere in general.

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Is this not the prettiest packaging of a chocolate bar you've ever seen? I almost didn't want to open it, but...
Merci, Sanja :)

Not such whimsical packaging, but FINALLY!!! I've been looking for this drink since a couple of girls brought some to one of our Italian classes once for a demonstration, and Italian stores in Calgary always failed me. Edmonton's Little Italy came through, though! How to describe this? It's cold carbonated coffee, basically. And that sounds so stupid and not all that delicious but it's actually so damn good. So good that I may have hugged it to my chest when I saw it in the store. I can't even stand to drink hot coffee (yuck, that taste) but somehow iced coffee is amazing and iced carbonated coffee is even more fantastic and bless Calabria for bringing this into existence.

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This is my current "to-read" pile. Oops? I have this problem called "buying books all the time" and also another problem called "no attention span whatsoever lately" (or "an inability to leave my brain alone to think because it goes to not so fun places") so... I haven't been reading quite as fast as I tend to accumulate books. On the one hand I feel bad that I don't devour books as quickly these days as I used to, and on the other hand a pile of unread books excites me. The possibilities!!! The feel and smell of new pages... mmm, mmmm.

What I'm reading at the moment, lent to me by Nichole. I don't know if other people do this (I assume yes,) but I have "seasonal" books. Meaning books that just evoke a specific season to me while I'm reading them, and ought to be read in that season for maximum enjoyment. I've only just started this one but it most definitely feels like winter to me. Like a big warm blanket and a fire and snowstorms and long nights. And since this is Calgary, I expect we won't be without snow for much longer so the timing is perfect.

WordFest just ended, too -- and I didn't go to nearly as many events as I would have liked to but I loved the ones I did see. Hopefully next time I'll have fewer scheduling conflicts and be a little more mentally present!

Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day

2011-10-13T22:58:00.000-06:00

Why does summer have to end? Or at least, why can't autumn last a little longer than it does in southern Alberta? I'm already finding blankets and fireplaces and heated car seats more inviting than the outdoors. It's not a bad thing, this change in seasons. Many good things come with it, and change is always more welcome than stagnation. But it's tough to say goodbye when you know that winter will last until April (or May...) and it will be a while yet before nature is inviting again. Or rather, before the roads are good enough to take us there.

This particular day was absolutely gorgeous; perfectly on the cusp between the end of summer and the beginning of autumn and warm and golden.

Hahaha, sorry to say Jessa, but his face looks a liiiittle bit like he's judging you. "Where the hell is my carrot? Ugh."

And the streets don't change but maybe the name

2011-10-07T08:39:00.000-06:00

TGIF!!

In Calgary it's cold and it's raining and it's the perfect day for reading and blankets and warm beverages. And staying in bed forever. Too bad none of those things are on the agenda for today! But that's okay! Let's make it a good day, anyway.

Also, let's make this happen again soon:

Odds and ends, but mostly ends

2011-09-29T09:53:00.000-06:00

On one of the last days, my aunt and uncle came to Jelah and brought their sač with them. What you do is make a fire and let it burn for a while until it's just hot, simmering coals. The sač is filled with food, placed on the coals, and covered in wood and live coals and left to cook for some time.

Quite some time, so you get bored and start doing silly things to entertain yourself.

And take photos of relatives making funny faces. This is my tetka Dragica and she is a riiiiot. From her I inherited a love of large, tacky jewelry.

When the sač is finished, you're left with some incredibly delicious and tender food and oh lord I'm hungry right now.

Would it be okay if I lit a fire in my backyard??

We told him to make sure to keep the flies away from the food that was being prepared. Good job!

Aww, Sanela. Also, among all of the delicious food I ate, the cabbage salad was the one thing I could not get enough of. And it's not even like I don't eat it all the time at home! Not coleslaw, by the way. SO much better than coleslaw. No mayonnaise messing everything up, just beautiful oil and vinegar and salt. When Nichole came back from Europe this summer, she too extolled the merits of this sort of cabbage salad and its superiority to North American coleslaw. And I'M SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.

Leaving Bosnia. I suppose by the last couple of days I was too worn out to take any photos, so this is some three days condensed to some ten shots. Oh, well!

And I'll end it on a terrible photo of some German or Austrian castle (I have no idea where we were at that time, though I assume Germany) taken out of a car going 160km/h.

I'm going to spare you the pain of a cheesy and poorly-written paragraph of reflection and nostalgia. Let's just say that I miss it all, and although I am so glad to be home, there's a constant dull ache that comes along with the duality of having had more than one country, more than one culture to call home. There's a part of yourself you'll always leave behind, like breadcrumbs to lead you back when you lose your way.

Gooy-bye!

I want to spend my days with piglets and kittens

2011-09-25T11:35:00.000-06:00

Hay in Bosnia is stacked, not baled. I remember seeing stacked hay the first time I went back, in 2004, and just gaping at it in wonderment. Why did it impress me so much???

Definitely a cousin of mine!

Trouble.

Saying good-bye to this one was heart-wrenching. Not least because she seemed to suddenly understand what was happening and started crying and clinging and aw, man. Sweet little piglet.

Ujko Branko, probably explaining that his granddaughter is a) smart, and b) definitely his kin, because she prefers bacon to soup. Gica, I am right with you. I can eat slanina like it's candy.

I love you and your personality and I hope you never change.

Have some Bosnian kittens:

...some vicious Bosnian kittens.

Cherry season

2011-09-22T10:29:00.000-06:00

My tetka Vera now lives in Zagreb, but still retains her old house in Bosnia. Her new house in Croatia is much nicer inside, but the Bosnian home is basically attached to a gorgeous field full of potatoes and fruit-bearing trees. So we raided her cherry trees. Sanela and my ma climbed up the tree like a couple of squirrels while Tamara and I stood by and pretended to help (well, Tamara actually did pick fallen cherries off the ground.)

This is Tamara's admirable haul. In the end I think there were two massive full bags of cherries and they had barely even made a dent in the tree's supply.

So tetak Rajko came another day and finished it off because he is apparently a more sprightly squirrel and was able to climb up and reach the thinnest branches. Cherries for days!

Also this just makes me laugh.

I had no way of being helpful because I'm useless and don't know how to climb a tree so I stood around and took photos of tiny things.

We'll get it together and we'll get it all done

2011-09-20T09:44:00.000-06:00

Furry caterpillars.

Walking around Weaselhead while it's still lush and green.

Sweating in the August sun, picnicing in the shade, drinking iced coffee to cool down.

And leaving the city to hang out with horses.

Nice dye job!

I wish every day this summer could have been spent driving around outside of city limits.

Days go by

2011-09-18T13:58:00.000-06:00

One evening my aunt brought out a bunch of beautiful old photos I had never seen before. It felt like a treasure trove. All these memories I will never know, never be a part of, but yearn to understand. People who are gone, those I don't remember, and those I never knew. And many, many (it's a big family) more whom I know well and whose presence makes these photos a fun sort of nostalgic.

I took photos of the photos so that we could have them, too. I think each sibling took the photos that involved their family the most, and I want to raid all of my aunts' and uncles' photo albums someday and fill in all the gaps. These are tetka Gospa's.

These are not in any chronological order, just in the order in which I took photos of them, because I'm lazy.

Love the matching clothes. Love that they posed in front of flowers even though the photos would be black and white.

Her HAIR!! I've never known her with anything but short short short hair.

Photos of my cousin Vedran as a baby are the best to me because he always looks so sweet and soft and adorable, and now he's, uh, big and loud and hairy and sweaty. And it makes me laugh!

Niece and uncle!

There is nothing I don't love about this photo (well, I don't love enforced military conscription, but I do appreciate such historical things being captured.)

My mama is the blondie at the bottom, with her arms around her knees!

Sisters and cousins, such love. Look at how cute my brother (in the hat) was!! Sad I missed out on those years by not yet existing.

AMAZING. These are my (late) grandparents and all of their kids. My mom is once more the blondie at the end, making that hilarious face. I might have this one printed and framed.

It's funny how much these photos made me realize the resemblance between the oldest and youngest sisters. Now I would never look at them and think they look alike the most, but that's part of what's great about having old photos to look back on.

Wow wow wow.

Mother and sisters. And can I just... look at my tetka Slavica (the littlest.) How cute is she? I'm so sad there are no photos of my mom when she was that little. Although I love the bowl haircut and the pretty dresses and that I know where this was taken and and and.

HAHAHA this one just makes me chortle and it'd be hard to explain why unless you personally know my uncle. Let's just say that this is the man whose favourite actress is "Jelly Lucy" (Julia Roberts) and whose English vocabulary includes the words "gooy-bye" and "beautiphone." Absolutely fantastic.

Everyone's face looks like they smelled something funky...

Grandparents and their first grandchild (of sixteen total to come, many of whom my grandma never met, and several my grandfather didn't, either.)

S-s-s-svadba!

Extended family.

Father and daughters. And my mom's face, always and forever.

My cousin Dejan, looking so cute.

Old friends.

My grandfather and a couple of grandkids, and the finest moustache in all of Yugoslavia.

Plitvice Lakes National Park / Nacionalni park Plitvička jezera

2011-09-13T10:13:00.000-06:00

Have you heard of Plitvice? I've been hearing about the lakes my whole life and dying to see them and I'm so happy to have finally gone. The national park was one of the absolute worst places of the entire trip for awful crowding (to be honest, the tourists were mostly a-okay, but the Bosnian school kids made me feel murderous) and it rained the entire time, but it was stunning and an experience I would never ever trade.

The Plitvice lakes are famous because of their incredible colour. Now... this day was incredibly overcast and rainy (understatement) and the colour was still this vibrant and rich. Can you even imagine what the waters look like when it's sunny and the skies are clear? I want to go in the summer (hotter, but less rain) and the autumn (the colour of the leaves against the colour of the lakes) and the winter (frozen turquoise.)

Look at how clear that water is.

I think the park would be the perfect place for solitary walks. Too bad about all the tourists.

Waiting under a slight rocky precipice for the relentless downpour to ease up a little. It was a good thing that it rained in Pula because it meant we had an umbrella with us!

Rain, so much rain, and a brief moment with no crowds on the walkways.

Still raining! The fact that it rained so earnestly the entire time was perhaps a tad disappointing, but I'm choosing to see it as incentive to repeat this visit and next time go during months that aren't, you know, spring. Not that it can't rain during other seasons, but in spring it's pretty much the default. Next time I will also try not to be sick and struggling to breathe. Wheee! More like wheee-ze!

Can I just once more point out that this is the colour of the water when it's overcast and therefore this is muted in comparison to what it would look like were it sunny.

Fish!

Pretty sure everyone who has been to Plitvice has a shot just like this, because there's a great vantage point overlooking the lakes on the way up. Mine makes me think of kind older German men sharing their umbrellas.

Pag

2011-09-10T10:45:00.000-06:00

Stopped by the side of the road to take in the view when these sheep came eagerly running up (well, as best as a sheep can run up a steep rocky hillside) -- I'm guessing they thought we were coming to feed or tend to them in some way. Sorry, buddies!

The island of Pag has the coolest landscape. It's rocky and seemingly barren at first glance and if you're driving on it at night with no streetlamps anywhere near, you start feeling like you're on the moon. I LOVED IT. I love greenery and forests and wildlife but I'm lucky to have a lot of that where I already live, so this moonscape-looking island was such a pleasure for me.

Back on the Croatian mainland.

What Pag looks like from afar -- an uninhabited rock. But there are some 8,000 people (and countless sheep) living there, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't envious of them.

Novalja

2011-09-08T23:07:00.000-06:00

One of my aunts owns a house on the island of Pag.

This is where I slept while on the coast:

A gorgeous house... but the view is what really makes it great.

This was the view from my bedroom on the first morning. It was a little gloomy, but it was the Adriatic Sea. With nothing between it and me. Just a garden filled with snails and the occasional turtle. In a word -- paradise.

Every time I've been here I slept so ridiculously well. There's something about the coastal air that is rejuvenating and wonderful and easy to breathe, even when you're stuffed up. What do I need to do in my life to own a house someplace like this?

My aunt's backyard leads directly into this. I did not go for a swim. 1) It was June and the water was still not very warm and 2) I was feverish. But I did sit here for a bit and watched the waves and the seagulls, until the heat got to be too much.

Ten minutes or so away from the house lies a grove of thousand year old olive trees.

A thousand years (and more)!!! My mind is still a little blown, not by the existence of something so old (there are older organisms, after all) but by my presence amongst them. Humbling.

Future olives.

Future figs.

This little buddy made me laugh so much! S/he was just hanging out on a stone wall along the road, eating from the higher branches, and probably looking down on the rest of us.

I wish I could have taken some sheep home with me.

Also, snail!!

Zadar

2011-09-06T13:52:00.000-06:00

I adore the Croatian coast. Have I mentioned that? Istria -- which is shared with Slovenia and Italy and which is where the city of Pula is located -- is absolutely beautiful. But Dalmatia... Dalmatia is something else entirely. One day I will put aside several weeks for the sole purpose of driving along the Dalmatian coast, visiting a handful of the 1,000+ islands, eating the numerous Dalmatian seafood delicacies, listening to Oliver Dragojević, and refusing to believe that I can't just do that my entire life.

We drove to Zadar and the day was absolutely stunning and sunny and crazy hot. Which would have been perfect had I not just come down with something that left me feeling dizzy and nauseated and tired and heat-stricken. So we left far too early and missed out on seeing so many things Zadar has to offer and I felt guilty for a short while until we learned that a couple of hours after we left the storms that had followed us on along the coast came to Zadar and were so intense that the city flooded and cars were swept into the Adriatic Sea. So. Maybe it was a blessing that I felt so ill!

Also I saw a bunch of these dudes and wanted to hang out with them but they weren't super keen on humans. Dang!

The "People's Square" in the old city.

Narrow streets.

The Church of St. Donatus (Crkva svetog Donata) -- 9th century. I love this architecture (pre-Romanesque, I gather) and the colour of the bricks against the summer sky.

I admit I was a little disappointed when I peered inside these tombs and found nothing.

This was right around the time when I started feeling really ill from the heat and sun, and looking at these photos makes me feel a little muddled all over again.

But the inside of the church was a wonderfully cool respite.

I don't even really remember taking this photo. All I remember is that once we left the interior of the church I had tunnel vision and was mostly staring at the ground willing myself not to pass out. Still feel a little bad that me feeling ill cost us the rest of the day in Zadar, but... I'll make up for it some day.

Pula

2011-09-01T23:22:00.000-06:00

The city of Pula. One of the places I had been dying to go to the most, and I was so stoked to finally get to do so. Cripes! Largely because...

...the Pula Arena! AKA the 1st century AD Roman amphitheatre standing in the middle of the city -- the best preserved Roman amphitheatre in the world. It is apparently in much better shape than the Colosseum and also much less famous. Meaning fewer tourists! Which is always a good thing.

You can see the construction work on the wall -- I can't say exactly how much restoration has occurred in recent years, but the arena is frequently used for concerts and film festivals so it's probably pretty important it not fall apart with crowds gathered inside. How cool does that sound, though?? I would kill to be there for a film festival or performance of any sort.

The weather was evidently not cooperative that day. Basically rained non-stop and everything looked dull and grey. The umbrella vendors made a killing. And even so the arena was one of my favourite places the entire trip. I cannot imagine how beautiful it must be with clear blue skies above (or against the starry night!)

I'm promising myself that I'll return one day, take in one of those festivals or concerts, stay long enough to catch a beautiful summer day.

But you know what? The rain wasn't so bad... it convinced the creatures that make the arena their home to come out:

EEE!! Why? Why do I love snails so much? Is it just because they remind me of my childhood and of living in Croatia? Or because they are adorable? Whatever the reason, snails were on my "things I hope to see and if I don't I might as well count the whole trip as a write-off" list. I saw a few others elsewhere but the ones inhabiting the arena were the best.

Also they were TEENY TINY. About the size of my pinky nail and not even that, actually. Finally, a good reason to have a macro reversing ring!

be mine

i will take care of u

I don't know how many there were. Thousands? I was in heaven.

This buddy was regular-sized. STILL CUTE.

This is one of the tiny ones without the macro reversing ring and it's uh... still a little bigger than their actual scale. Aaah look at its shell. I guess I could get pet snails but it AIN'T THE SAME.

I'll stop weirdly gushing about slimy slugs now and return to my love of the amphitheatre.

Underneath the arena were chambers upon chambers of old pots and olive oil... making... machines (wow, so good with the terminology.)

Loved how untouched they looked.

Oh, yeah -- when you approach it from the upper side, the coolest view can be seen through the arches:

the Adriatic Sea!

Vraćam se Zagrebe tebi, tebi na obale Save

2011-08-30T23:06:00.000-06:00

Went back to beautiful Croatia just in time to catch the terrible weather. C'est la vie!

Can you tell that Croatia is overwhelmingly Roman Catholic? This was just alongside a regular street.

I believe this had to do with a monastery and monks translating the Bible. Lesson learned: keep a travel journal next time so I can actually remember what I saw.

The Zagreb Cathedral. I LOVE THIS BUILDING.

Fun fact #1: the cathedral was first built in the 11th century, then rebuilt in the 13th after much of it was destroyed in an attack by the Tatars. A 19th century earthquake did some massive damage and it was rebuilt once more. The spires have been under restoration FOREVER (slight exaggeration) -- I'm fairly certain that when I was last there (in 2006) it was the left one that was being restored.

Fun fact #2: the very day before I visited the cathedral, the Pope was there! Croatia is almost 90% Roman Catholic so it was a Big Deal. I vacillate between being glad I missed the mania by a day and regretting not seeing the spectacle when I had the chance.

Love love love the ornate details.

So, uh... I thought it was cute that this restaurant's patio had so many sparrows flyin' around... until they started pooping on the chairs. So glad I finished eating before that started happening.

Zagreb tram tickets. Would transit tickets from different cities/countries be a weird thing to collect? I want to start doing that.

This is the building my mom, brother, and I lived in when we escaped the war in Bosnia. OH MY GOD. There is no possible way for me to do justice to the feelings that came over me while I was here. That park I used to play in -- a flood of memories. Autumn and yellow leaves under my feet and summer and sudden storms breaking up the 40ºC day and the snails coming out and playing on the swings and oh my god I remember you now, I didn't remember who you were when I heard your name but your face, your face. Everything is so small, how is everything so small? That tree, that's where we buried the second turtle, the one that didn't live longer than a few months, the one that used to ride around on the bigger one's back (and can you believe we still have that turtle?)

I regret not really taking photos but cripes, so emotionally overwhelming. Plus I hesitate to think how many more thousands of photos I'd have taken if I hadn't been overwhelmed 95% of the time while I was in Europe.

SECONDHAND ГАРДЕРОБА

2011-08-28T22:22:00.000-06:00

Some odds and ends before I leave Bosnia behind for a little while...

One of my favourite memories: Bojan hitting a moth flying around his bowl of cereal with the back of his spoon and the moth falling into the bowl. PERFECT AIM. And other little things, like pretending my drink had a face, or asking me "znaš šta znači 'oh shit'? O, sranje!!" and then laughing and running away. Or "ne radim ja ništa zanimljivo." "Vidim."

This one is a sweetheart, too. Like his interactions with the younger kids like Vanja. Or wanting to give me his animal DVDs to take to Canada with me so I could watch them because we ran out of time to do so together. Such a sweet gesture. Or this flower which he picked for me to put in my hair. Killin' me!

Not fans of the Latin alphabet!

I love love loved all of the freely roaming chickens and roosters. I also loved the roosters crowing in the early hours of the morning, although I was pretty alone in that opinion. Probably because I can sleep through most noises (except church bells. Still bitter.)

GICAAA. She hollered the one time I took a photo of her and didn't immediately let her see it on the screen. Legit threw her hands up and yelled.

My cousin Vedrana, AKA Jovana's favourite person in the woooorld. ŠO ŠWEET.

Yup, they're definitely relatives of mine.

Awkward group photo? Check!

Stopped in Šamac on the way to Zagreb. Saw my hands down favourite sign ever -- SECONDHAND ГАРДЕРОБА. Exactly like that. One word in English and in the Latin alphabet, the other in Serbo-Croatian and the Cyrillic alphabet. GLORIOUS. I laughed to myself for far too long.

My cousin Ružica's daughter Mihaela.

And her other daughter, Nina.

Nina looks EXACTLY like Mihaela did seven years ago when she was the age Nina is now. EXACTLY. My aunt (their grandma) even warned us about how Twilight Zone it would be and I was still unprepared. As she walked through the door I just gaped. I know they're sisters, but CRIPES.

Banja Luka, part II

2011-08-26T09:56:00.000-06:00

My cousin Irena and me. Yes, we have almost the same name. She was heavily pregnant here, and so cute. She has since given birth to a baby girl named Mihaela, who I'll have to wait to meet next time. I sort of do wish she had called her the name her mother-in-law suggested -- Mihaela's grandparents include all three of the main ethnic groups of Bosnia (Croat, Muslim, Serb) she jokingly suggested that she should be called Jugoslava. It would be cruel, but kind of cute! Or I'm just tacky.

Also, in this photo you can see a small scab on top of the bridge of my nose. I walked into a metal signpost while wearing sunglasses -- TWICE. The first time hurt like hell and was followed by a long walk to the cemetery in the hot sun and resulted in a nauseating headache. The second time was just dumb. Who does that?

That little squirt with those massive eyes is my cousin Dejan's son Milan. He was named after Dejan and Irena's father (my uncle) who died in the war.

Dejan and his daughter Ivana.

Can I just mention how hilarious this kid is? She has the best attitude ever and I hope she never changes. Dejan said that she has climbed on top of a car to be able to look him in the eye while she's arguing. Is it weird to look up to a child?

Also, we had never met before and within two minutes she came up to me and asked, "will you play yekkets with me?" "...I will, but... what is yekkets..." Turned out she was saying "racquets" and wanted to play badminton. I have a great video of her bossing me around and being completely unable to hit the birdie. So much love.

Arguing!

Milan made some great faces while playing.

HAHA, so good.

Mmm, pita... not one person I know who has tried Bosnian pita has been disappointed.

And leaving Banja Luka...

Jack

2011-08-24T10:20:00.000-06:00

Canada lost a truly great man this week. The NDP lost an incredible leader who took them from being a small party no one thought ever had a chance to being the official opposition. A family lost a husband and a father. I've felt a little dramatic being so devastated over his passing, but then I looked around me and noticed how many others are mourning. It's not dramatic; it's a testament to what Jack Layton meant to and did for Canadians. "The best prime minister we never had," someone said. "We'll never have another politician like him," I heard from quite a few people. I hope they're wrong. I hope that Jack's legacy is exactly the opposite -- a generation of politicians taking up the mantle and following in his example.

There is nothing I could say that hasn't already been said and said better, but I think a post about the beauty of the Canada I know and love is pretty fitting.

Somewhere in Bragg Creek.

Playful little buddy who tried opening a ziploc bag full of cheese and then made off with some crackers.

Elbow Falls on a perfect day.

Bear on the side of the road -- maybe I shouldn't have got out of the car, especially when I was limping on a freshly broken toe, but... I'm Canadian.

Forget-Me-Not pond. No forgetting, indeed.

"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world."

(Jack Layton's last words to the people of Canada)

And respect to the Calgary Sun, for the best front page tribute I saw on Tuesday.

Banja Luka

2011-08-21T15:42:00.000-06:00

By the time we got to Banja Luka, I was feeling pretty in need of city culture. I mean, I got excited over an intersection. Let's just say that I was not feeling the Balkan small town mentality. Banja Luka was a breath of fresh air!

And fresh fruit was such a wonderful sight to see after all of the cakes everyone had been making. My 250+ lb uncle climbed a cherry tree to pick these and I really wish I had been there with a video camera.

My cousin Ljubiša's daughter Teodora. Every single time a camera was pulled out and pointed at her she became super serious and just stared it down. If I were someone just looking at this photos with no knowledge otherwise, I would think she was the least smiley baby ever. Which is so not true! But there is no possible way to capture the (many) happy moments on camera.

Is there anyone funnier than Ujko Simo? The tears-streaming-down-my-face, unable-to-catch-my-breath sort of laughter. I will never be able to explain it to anyone else because 1) things get lost in translation, and 2) it's the way he says it and the sort of person he is. Just fantastic. Childhood stories of how they terrorized an adult neighbour, "jedi ti govna," "Ovo ti je koza i baba. Koza čuva babu." I'm pretty sure he could say anything and it would reduce me to peals of obnoxious laughter.

Can't forget the most important parts of Balkan culture! Meza i rakija. Good lord, do I miss Bosnian smoked meat... and fresh cheese...

Ujna Zorica -- not keen on sitting at home all the time and would much rather go into the city and do something. I am so in agreement! And I really appreciated someone being keen to show us around like the visitors we were; so many people in the Balkans have no desire to travel and experience new things so they can't imagine why anyone else would want to do so.

My cousin Ljubiša and his wife Dragana were such a surprising treat. Surprising in the sense that he's always been more my older brother's peer and it was really lovely to bond while I stayed with them. I hope they enjoyed Fringe...

Great-grandmother! Dang!

The couple of days spent in Banja Luka were unfortunately overcast. One of the things I always miss most when away from Calgary are the prairie skies!

Tiny little waterfall.

The Church of Holy Trinity (Crkva Svete trojice) in the centre of Banja Luka. The original church was destroyed in 1941 when a German bomb damaged part of it, and the Ustaše (Croatian fascist movement) gave orders that the entire church be destroyed. The new church was given the go-ahead in 1993 and was finished in 2009. I think it's really beautiful, but I generally love the architecture of Eastern Orthodox churches. Hopefully I can come back to it one day when the sun hasn't almost set or when I have my tripod with me.

I'm really sad that this is the only photo I took of Dragana! But the time we spent together most was during evenings/late into the night, sitting around in pajamas and talking. I didn't really think to grab my camera then... Next time I go, I'm putting aside extra time for them.

This little piggy

2011-08-18T11:11:00.000-06:00

The colours of the Bosnian flag are blue and yellow, so I found this moment very symbolic. I guess that overall it's more like the Brazilian flag, but shhhhh! Let me bask in my delusions of providence and kismet.

The above three photos are from my maternal grandparents' graveyard. I wavered between feeling sad that it looked mostly overgrown and forgotten (aside from my grandparents' graves, which my uncle had recently tended to) and being oddly pleased that it was full of nature and life.

And speaking of life... my cousin Vedran's kids are firecrackers. This is Vanja and he is loud and crass and has marker on his face and is a cutie underneath the tough exterior. I predict a troublemaker, because every generation needs at least one (or a handful, like many of my cousins and my brother.)

Oh my loooord this photo makes me nostalgic and hungry. Salama... pašteta... eurocrem... and it's not even like I can't get those things here! There are plenty of Italian/German/Polish stores that carry a million Balkan products and I probably consume them several times a week, but still. There's something about eating the food when you're actually in the country that makes it so much better.

My girl Jovana.

You have no idea how much I wanted to take this kid home with me. I don't know what it was about her or about us but there was an instant bond that even others commented on. I guess she doesn't normally take to people that quickly and deeply, but something about my mom and me clicked for her and within minutes of walking through that door we were friends. My cousin Vedrana (her aunt) is by all accounts her favourite person and Jovana does not normally have the time for anyone else... except, I guess, for us. I'm not even going to pretend I'm not pleased about being a particular favourite.

Short and stocky and loud and hilarious and smart and prefers meat to soup and will sneak a sip of your beer and pretty much defines stereotypes of Balkan people. I love her.

How you know you're in an ethnic Serb household: religious icons everywhere. I'm pretty sure my mom is the only one of her siblings whose house has absolutely nothing religious in it (except maybe a free bible or two in the basement.)

I called this kid Gica, which means piglet in Serbo-Croatian. I called her that because it sounds really cute and endearing to me, because of that adorable baby chub, and also because she would go up to her grandfather's (my uncle) piglets, stick her hand in their mouths...

...lean down...

...and kiss their snouts.

Girl. Do you know where those snouts have been?

Midnight calls for protein shakes and classical music

2011-08-14T23:59:00.000-06:00

I feel like I could (and should) have just compiled all the photos from one family/city/whatever into one post but... that would require me to sort them all out at the same time and I just can't be bothered. So chronological (mostly) order it is, then!

Aww, Bojan. This kid kills me. Biggest sweetheart. I wish I could put a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle jigsaw puzzle together with him right this moment.

Siblings! Tamara with the always-present sunglasses on top of her head. A nice man at the pijaca (street market) gave her another pair of sunglasses for free just because they went with her headband. Too cute!

Also too cute: kids playing chess. I feel like this is really typical of Slavic people...

I'm not certain Aco knows how to play, though (pretty confident that Bojan does...)

Tetka Gospa and one of her grandkids. My aunts (and my mom) always yell at me to "not take photos of them when they make faces." Well, then don't make faces! The funniest part here isn't even the face, but the reason behind it -- I believe Aco had just whispered to her to give him some money and she was having none of it.

Cousins! These kids (all four, not just these two) got yelled at a lot for doing things they shouldn't have been doing so I probably shouldn't have 1) encouraged and 2) documented more of this behaviour. But they're kids. What is the point of childhood if not to do stupid things adults frown upon?

Lastly: puppy!

I just spent far too long trying to remember Ambroise Thomas' name so I could listen to one of his overtures. Sad because 1) what is wrong with my brain's ability to retain names and 2) a life: I should get one.

Tecлић

2011-08-12T10:50:00.000-06:00

Took an amble through the town of Tesliċ, where two of my uncles (and their families) live. I always enjoy being in the Republika Srpska part of Bosnia because it means I can practice reading Cyrillic. My parents taught me to read both the Cyrillic and Latin alphabets before I started school (I went to school in Croatia so I never got to carry on) and I'm very rusty but still impressed that I remember anything 19 years later. Generally I can't even recall what I did last week!

Serbian Orthodox church. I still vividly remember when a bunch of us took a nighttime walk in 2004 and how beautifully the church was lit up. WHY didn't I do that this time around?

Ujko Drago e mio padre. My uncle had recently had a (benign, as it turned out) mole removed from the top of his head -- the doctors grafted some skin from his thigh on his scalp, so now he has a quarter-sized circle right on top of his head which can't grow any hair. I could not stop laughing when he described the sound and feel of when a massive raindrop fell directly into that spot. I wish so much wasn't lost in translation!

My youngest cousin Slaviša. So sweet, so affectionate. So grown up and mature all of a sudden! I hope he stays that blond forever. And that sweet.

Recent obituaries pinned to trees -- this is a very common sight. See all of the other pins and bits of paper still stuck to that tree? When not everyone has internet access or even a newspaper, the news has to get out somehow.

Slaviša, la mia mamma, my cousin Vesna, ujna Dragana. How is Vesna only ten? It's pretty evident she inherited her father's height. She's also just as sweet and ridiculously well-mannered as her brother.

There's this amazing song by Jadranka Stojakoviċ called "Bistre vode Bosnom teku" which means "clear rivers flow through Bosnia" which... just wasn't true. To be fair the rivers were murky due to the rain, but my dreams of (badly) singing the song while sitting on the banks of a sparkling river were dashed. Another time!

Communist national hero -- check out that hammer and sickle inside the red star.

The best spot! This bench was enveloped by an odd small tree and it looked incredible and so cozy. If I wasn't so afraid of bugs falling out of the branches and onto me, this would've been the perfect place to sit and read.

A sidewalk raised by tree roots. I love when nature gives civilization the finger.

I have a sudden craving for fresh eggs.

Korijeni

2011-08-10T13:04:00.000-06:00

A shed round back of my late paternal grandparents' house in Jelah, Bosnia.

The church a few houses up from my paternal grandparents' house, which woke me up with its 6:00am bell toll the two nights I slept there. Not even going to pretend I'm not still bitter.

The "street" leading to my grandparents' house.

The cemetery where my paternal grandparents are buried.

The cemetery where my maternal grandparents are buried.

The house my mom and her seven siblings grew up in, up on the hill in Raduša (Tešanj.) I always love going up there, seeing where my mom and her family grew up, and how far they've all come. It's also always fairly sad to see the state of ruin it's in now.

This was their "summer kitchen" but don't ask me what that entails because I have no idea.

This is the house my mom was born in, which later became a stable. Let me reiterate that: my mom. was born. in this house.

And now a cow lives in it. The family across the road bought the whole property and now keep bees and I guess a lone cow.

The dog belonging to the neighbours who own the whole property now.

The elderly matriarch of the neighbours across the road, Baba Jana. Cried so much upon seeing my mom. The saddest and sweetest moment of the month. I wish I had living grandparents.

I guess I'm a bit sad today.

Gdje me vode ove rijeke, gdje su tvoje obale?

2011-08-07T14:56:00.000-06:00

Went for a walk in the Bosnian countryside (but then, how much of Bosnia isn't countryside?) as the sun was setting one evening. A much needed moment of serenity in the otherwise non-stop hustle and bustle I had suddenly found myself in.

Found a little frog in a little rain puddle.

Not even in a cemetery, just standing alone on the side of a path, close to the home of the youngest man's family. "So it's remembered and never forgotten. So it's remembered and never repeated."

If you look at the background, you can see the double minarets of a mosque (džamija). Bosnia is made up of ethnic Croats, Serbs, and Bosniaks (or Bosnian Muslims) and each group makes up the majority in different geographic areas.

One of the things I really like there (and feel like I'm alone in liking) is the Muslim call to prayer. The hodža (mujezin/muezzin) sings the ezan (adhan) five times a day over a loudspeaker from the minaret. It is a sound I really associate with Bosnia. One side of my family are ethnic Croats (Roman Catholic) and the other side are ethnic Serbs (Eastern Orthodox) although in my immediate family we're all atheist/agnostic, but I love the ezan despite not having any ties to the religion. There's something I find so much more pleasant about a man singing than there is about a loud church bell waking you up at 6:00am. If you're interested in what it sounds like, this YouTube video someone shot in Travnik gives you a pretty good idea.

Unfinished abandoned houses and war-devastated abandoned houses are an incredibly common sight.

I suppose in a more developed country they would not still be standing 15 years later, but this is Bosnia. Reminders of the war are everywhere you look -- in still-inhabited houses covered in shrapnel damage, in the gravestones scattered across the land, in the faces and actions of people still holding a grudge against someone who follows a different religion.

But there is so much beauty and life in this land, too. And maybe that will win out in the end.

Nineteen eighties

2011-08-05T10:11:00.000-06:00

Old photos! We have a shoebox full of them, but there are still many that we don't have but others do. So I took the opportunity of being there to take photos of the old photos (had no scanner) so we could "have" them, too. These ones I probably could have taken without anyone knowing (who really checks that old photo album?) but I thought that would be a horrible thing to do.

My paternal grandparents (these are all of my dad's side of the family) -- djed Ivan, baka Marta and my aunts' husbands, tetak Marko and tetak Ivan.

Grandparents and my parents.

Grandma and two of my aunts -- tetka Ana and tetka Dragica.

My dad's awesome painter brother, striko Mirko. He paints in the style of Croatian naive art and once promised me that every time I came, I would get a painting. He has held up his end of the bargain! He's pretty swell.

A whole slew of people. Crouching at the bottom in the white shirt is my cousin Ivica who is the only relative of mine who lives in Calgary. He's also the oldest cousin on this side, while I'm the youngest (born 1962 and 1988, respectively!)

Tetka Dragica again. She is fun and hilarious and I'm a fan.

My cousin Ivica, his sister Irena, and his parents, my tetka Kaja and tetak Marijan.

My cousin Zoran, me, my brother.

My brother was so cute. What happened?

I'm not sure why I was covering my face in both photos but what I love is that in this one, my mom is holding the previous polaroid.

Also: MOM. What is that hair?

Look at my hip suspenders!

It just dawned on me that these photos were taken in a country that no longer exists (Yugoslavia.) Whoa, it is a trip to think about how the country you were born in is no more and seven separate nations now take its place.

Djetelina

2011-08-03T20:39:00.001-06:00

It is impossible to go to the Balkans and not spend a considerable amount of your time searching for four-leaf clovers. You do it so much that when you retire to bed and close your eyes, all you see is a reel of green fields projected on the inside of your eyelids. This little (big?) guy wasn't even hiding -- he was about an inch above the rest, several times bigger, and plainly sitting there out in the open, waiting to be found. I thought it would be too sacrilegious to pick this one. It seemed too perfect, too symbolic. It even got run over by a car several times and bounced back up after every instance. I want to say that I hope it brings me luck, but can you believe in both luck and fate?

U Doboju

2011-08-02T00:29:00.000-06:00

Hoo boy! The drive from Munich to the Bosnian border went pretty swell. I mean, we were going 150km/h for the majority of the time so the whole A/C not working thing didn't matter so much. Until the Bosnian border.

Things that happened upon entering Bosnia and Herzegovina:

• the speed dropped to at most 80km/h, generally more around 60km/h, so uh... the A/C stopped working. It was around 30ºC.

• ridiculously narrow roads (I grant that I live in Canada so my ideas of what is a proper width for roads may be skewed, but this was seriously insane) paired with massive semis. Oh, and people who drive like assholes. Every moment we were on the road in Bosnia I spent fearing for my life, and that is not an exaggeration.

• got pulled over by a cop for not having the daylights on (as I gather most European countries have laws that you have to turn your lights on during the day... in the winter. Figures that Bosnia would have to be contrary) and then had to bribe him because this is how things function there!

In summary, I became totally bitter about the country of my birth. If I recall correctly, my thoughts were mainly, "and you want to be in the European Union??? NEVER HAPPENING."

Fortunately Bosnian people (who aren't in positions of power -- i.e. police, politicians) are really nice. Like my dad said, there are two types of Bosnians: those who will take everything you have from you, and those who will give you everything they have. So my faith was restored because of people like the latter and we arrived at my aunt's house in Doboj in lifted spirits.

Some of you might remember my cousin Violeta's twin sons from last time... some (mainly you, Whajung) have been dying to see what they look like now. Well! Here they are with Tamara (their cousin.) Aco (Aleksandar) is still, oh, about twice the size of his twin Ogi (Ognjen.) He's taller, he's bigger, he's more tanned. This is the way it's been since birth (Ogi spent a month in the hospital because he was too small, AKA Aco hogged all of the nutrients in the womb) and this is the way I always expect it to be!

Just washing the chairs... for whatever reason.

The last time I was there Tamara had just about started walking. Crazy! This time around she was: obsessed with nail polish, sunglasses, dresses (mine in particular,) and being a very girly girl in general. Boy, the feminine little girls flocked to me and I had no idea what to do. Y'all, I do not know how to interact with kids. My mom is a PRO at anything child-related and I am just a big ol' failure. Babies I'm completely fine with! Because babies can't talk. But anything older just exhausts me. This is totally my fault, not theirs -- they're kids, they're supposed to act like kids. I just had a tough time adjusting from an environment where I'm seldom around children (and when I am, there are usually only one or two at a time there) to one of KIDS 24/7, and guess what! They all need your attention and approval! It was a very effective shot of birth control after the devious, ovulation-inducing charm of baby Nellie.

Don't get me wrong! I love these kids so much. But this experience was a bit like being thrown into the deep end of the pool without ever having seen water before.

Little dogs have just recently become popular in the Balkans. This is Džeki (pronounced like Jackie.)

My mom's oldest sister, my tetka (aunt) Gospa. Professional seamstress! Made me a beautiful skirt. Insisted that I not walk around the house barefoot, became worried that I don't blow-dry my hair, offered me kolače before bed... typical Bosnian fare. So good.

My cousin Nebojša! Okay, so... we hadn't seen each other in FOURTEEN YEARS. The past two times I was in Bosnia, he was in Italy, working. Finally. I'd even met his wife and his kids (Bojan and Tamara) before I saw him again. You make some sacrifices when you move an ocean away.

Cool Italian bottles used to hold homemade rakija.

COFFEE: all day, every day. It's very much a social thing. People there don't drink it for the caffeine, they drink it because it gets everyone sitting together and interacting. It's quaint! Unfortunately I'm not a big coffee drinker (unless it's iced and doesn't really taste like coffee) and the sort they drink in Bosnia is often a strong Turkish kind that people who do drink coffee regularly often find too strong. So... I didn't really partake.

But I did partake in the eating of KOLAČI. This right here is responsible for any weight I managed to gain while in Europe. Mostly the fact that you're sort of forced to eat some after every meal (and with coffee) and, let's be real, I'm not about to turn it down. I had to try every single kind that was offered! And then I had to have seconds, purely because they were delicious.

I, uhh... I had withdrawals for a couple of weeks after coming back.

Aco is still as hilarious to me as he was five years ago. He thinks school is a waste of time and wishes he could drop out and just start working construction or something right now (he's going to be nine.)

Ogi is still a lot more reserved than his twin, although he makes up for it in cunning and shrewdness. And a need to excel at everything!

Sanela is my cousin Nebojša's wife and she is the best. Forget the cakes, she is the reason I gained any weight because everything she makes is amazing. She's got some sort of culinary Midas' touch. Also, a great sense of humour and a wonderful soul. I seriously considered kidnapping her.

My cousin Violeta! She and her husband Jovica live right next door to my tetka Gospa (her mom) (and Nebojša and his family live with tetka Gospa). This means that the only time there is any peace in this part of the neighbourhood is when the kids are at school.

And finally, Jovica, who spent a decade working in Italy and could commiserate over some of the frustrations we had with Bosnia.

Children everywhere

2011-07-30T17:57:00.000-06:00

My mom's side of the family is very, um... productive. For the past six or seven years, someone has always (ALWAYS) been pregnant. Whenever I had asked my mom if anyone was expecting and she said she didn't think so, she would hear from one of her siblings within a month and learn otherwise. Two of my cousins were pregnant while we were there. When my cousin Dijana and I saw each other for the first time in five years, she said, "every time we see each other, I'm pregnant." Truth! All that to say that there is an abundance of children in those households and it is crazy at (all) times. And tiring. And overwhelming. But it is also full of life and love and activity and seldom boring and often hilarious.

My cousin Zoran's youngest daughter Ivana. In English terminology, the children of my first cousins are my "first cousins once removed". In Serbo-Croatian terminology they are my nieces and nephews! I rather like that better.

My cousin Zoran's oldest daughter Dora (the Explorer.)

Hahaha, I can't get over those ears! She reminds me of an adorable little gnome. If Hallowe'en was celebrated in the Balkans, I think Dora and Ivana dressed as Snow White and a dwarf (respectively) would be amazing.

I think this boy was Dora's mom's cousin? Who knows. If you're from former Yugoslavia you probably have four dozen cousins -- I can hardly keep my own in order, I don't have enough room in my brain for everyone else's! Sweet kid, though.

Zoran's wife Sanja. Last time I was there they were just dating, and now they have two kids! Crazy (to me.)

You tell 'em who's boss.

Not as delicious as she expected...

Homegrown strawberries! Almost as amazing as the tiny hand-picked woodland strawberries we bought in jars from old ladies on the side of the road. Almost.

Food was a major focal point of the trip, not even going to lie, and suho meso (smoked meat) was a massive part of that. All of my mom's (surviving) brothers keep their own pigs and smoke the meat themselves (and make their own rakija, to boot) and it is AMAZING. I could eat my own weight in slanina (the bacon.)

First you stuff your guests full of suho meso as an appetizer, and then you force them to eat an actual meal, and then follow that up with dessert. And then ask them if they'd like something more to snack on. It's the Balkan way!

The little girl in the dress is my cousin Dijana's (and Marko's, who is in the background) daughter Andjela. Dora and Andjela are cousins. They may look cute and sweet, but do not be fooled -- these two are CRAZY (read: bloodthirsty) when they're together. Can't live without each other, yet can't not kill one another. There was screaming, crying, vicious biting, and fighting like I've never seen before. At the time I had a "Jesus, get out of the war zone" kind of reaction but in retrospect it's hilarious. Mostly because I don't have to deal with them!

It's also pretty funny to me because I never had such a volatile relationship with any of my cousins (or with my brother.) Sladjan is the closest to me in age and as far as I recall we just used to play Barbies or Lion King (I distinctly remember playing Lion King although I don't remember what exactly it entailed.) However, a story I have been told numerous times is when my cousin Dijana used to try to take my bottle and drink the milk when I was, I don't know, two and a bit, and she was ten or so. And I didn't like this. So apparently I would see her coming and would give my bottle to Zoran (her younger brother) to finish off so she couldn't have any. Okay, so... it wasn't even that I wanted all of the milk, I just didn't want her to have any because she'd always try to steal it and I was apparently a spiteful jerk of a toddler. Not going to lie, I still laugh at this story every time.

Andjela just got a baby sister (Ana), so we'll see if she and Ivana follow in the destructive footsteps of their older siblings...

I can't help but wonder how sweet, quiet, good-tempered Nellie is faring in the Balkans with the likes of these hooligans!

Patuljak!

45°49′0″N 15°59′0″E

2011-07-28T16:53:00.000-06:00

Zagrebačkim ulicama cesta mog života teče

Njegova me radost blaži, njegova me rana peče

Coming back to Zagreb is always wonderful. Sentimental. Nostalgic. More than a little bittersweet. And never, ever a long enough stay. I lived in this city for five years. 1992 to 1997, ages 4 to 9. It is the city that helped raise me, our refuge from war, my childhood home. Fourteen years later, it is incredibly changed but always familiar. With a little sadness mixed in. I used to be a part of this city. I used to walk its streets, know its people, breathe its air. I used to speak the Croatian dialect and now it sounds so harsh to me (too much of the letter 'k'.)

When we first moved to Zagreb we stayed with my aunt and uncle. This is the park I once played in. That part I hardly remember.

Some things look so much smaller than they did when I was a child. Some things look impossibly bigger.

One day I will come (back) to Zagreb in the autumn.

The first day there was mostly spent visiting family (which was oh so wonderful!) and what little I did get to see of the city itself was mostly of old, rundown neighbourhoods. It was more than a little disheartening to see my city in such a state. Fortunately the return visit was spent in bustling, modern parts and my mounting heartbreak over what the city had become was quelled.

Can I take a moment to say that this song (essentially a poem, really) is incredibly beautiful? And to say how sad it makes me that I can't share that with friends who don't speak the language because everything is lost in translation. I wish I could convey to you how these words touch me.

My mom pointed out the library my brother and I used to visit to borrow books. I was really only four when we lived in this part of the city so I couldn't remember that. Knowing that it's not my fault I forgot didn't make me any less sad about forgetting.

Ne treba mu zlatna kiša, neka ga samo jesen zlati
Kad ga očima zagrlim nek me čuva kao mati

Passing through

2011-07-26T23:40:00.000-06:00

Somewhere in Germany, just before the Austrian border. Several construction workers were down below and they startled me when they yelled out something (in German) and started waving and grinning. For whatever reason I could not stop laughing. They were just so happy-looking!

Somewhere in Austria, not long after the German border. I will freely admit that I spent the vast majority of the drive through the German-speaking countries lip-syncing to Lady Gaga's "Scheiße" in an extremely over-enthusiastic manner.

I also spent a great deal of time trying not to fall asleep -- I don't know if it was delayed jet lag or what, but suddenly being in cars made me impossibly drowsy. Jerking awake every few seconds in a vehicle speeding down the autobahn is not exactly comfortable. Also not comfortable -- the fact that the A/C on our brand new rented car didn't work unless the car was going over 120km/h. Are you kidding me?

Somewhere in Slovenia.

Everyone at this gas station was Bosnian. The woman working behind the counter, the group of men outside... At first I felt like Croatians would have made more sense because at least Croatia shares a border with Slovenia. Then I realized that, unlike Bosnia, Croatia has its scheiße together and its people aren't desperately flocking out of the country.

Not long before we made it to Zagreb. The rear-window view of the sunset (suncopad) was wonderful.

Set foot in six countries in one day, not including the ones flown over: Sweden, Denmark, Germany, Austria, Slovenia, and Croatia. One day I will spend much more time in all of those.

You could stand me up at the gates of hell

2011-07-25T21:05:00.000-06:00

"Fāl-gūsh or fāl-gōsh (Persian: فالگوش) is the act of standing in a dark corner spot or behind a fence and listening to the conversations of passersby and trying to interpret their statements or the subject of their dialogue as an answer to one's questions."

I love this so much. I can see the future and it involves me hiding behind a fence and eavesdropping for guidance.

Jessa and I went for a couple of driving adventures in rural Alberta in the past couple of weeks. Mostly consisting of her driving and me free-loading. The first one lasted a couple of lovely hours, during which we saw buffalo ("beef-alo,") horses, cows, elk, deer, hawks and various other birds I can't identify, and the glorious (even when overcast and stormy) prairies:

The second one lasted eight hours. Eight wonderful, battery-recharging, soul-healing hours. I don't even know where we were most of the time. We saw baby moose, all kinds of ermines, probably a woodchuck, deer, cows, horses, coyote, and female bighorn sheep (I think. Right? I'm not exactly terrific at identification of fauna):

Big trucks are an Alberta staple! The moment I knew I was definitely home after returning from Europe was on the way back from the airport, when a big ol' truck with big ol' cattle horns affixed to the grill passed us by. I may have grinned like an idiot, but it was such a perfect Alberta moment.

I don't know why but I'm remembering the "BEARS EVERYWHERE" (minor exaggeration) signs and laughing about them right now.

Remember when we got a million mosquito bites and then for the next few days I looked like I had bacne?

I didn't take a lot of photos during the drive because a) I was enjoying myself, b) I was in a fast car, c) whatever. Rest assured that it was all far too beautiful for me to ever do justice to. We did eventually make it to Banff and ended up at the Cascade Gardens, though, which were full of lovely and colourful flowers of which I took a few too many photos because I love me some vibrancy in my life:

Let's just ignore that it's crawling with aphids (or whatever else those may be...)

As gorgeous as the gardens were, nothing can beat wildflowers. Rocky mountain and prairie wildflowers in particular. I may or may not have gone "ooh! So pretty!" every five minutes while we were driving along. I love that I'm still impressed by the beauty of Alberta after having lived here for 14 years.

More, please!

Hej då

2011-07-24T11:54:00.000-06:00

Teleborg Castle (or Teleborgs slott) is fairly modern (c. 1900) and absolutely beautiful. Compared to some other castles I've seen (in real life or photos) it's also pretty modest in size, which just adds to its loveliness. I'm not a big fan of huge mansions. The castle is used for conferences (there was one happening just before we arrived, and we ended up walking through the open door and helping ourselves to an impromptu tour without knowing if we were even allowed to) and weddings nowadays, which is rather sweet considering it was originally a wedding present.

At one point in the past, the castle was used as a hotel. Can you imagine? I'm mostly thinking about the sort of food you'd be served...

The grounds surrounding the castle are also pretty magnificent.

Let me point out the "streetlamp" in the middle of the forest. GENIUS!!

"Tell people that this is your aunt's home."

I believe these are the graves of old family pets. So sweet.

---------------------------------

Sladjan pretending to be a Lego unicorn to amuse Nellie.

My tetka Slavica imitating Nellie's trendsetting dance moves. Aw aw awww. Tetak Josip is probably talking about his favourite actress, Jelly Lucy.

Could you just... focus on Sladjan's face for a moment...

This is my cousin Danijel's girlfriend (and Nellie's mama) Maria and she is so, SO lovely. Unfortunately, she broke her toe days before we arrived and was pretty incapacitated and couldn't come on any day trips with us. I spent a lot of time with her (Sladjan and I slept at their apartment) and absolutely adore the woman. I realized on the last day that I had barely any photos of her because I didn't take many while indoors so I made sure to get a few as evidence that while she wasn't able to come with us on any excursions, she was still a big part of my stay there. Hopefully nothing will befall her next time I come, and hopefully the photos Sladjan and I showed her of Banff will entice her even more to visit Canada.

---------------------------------

That's the end for the photos from Sweden. Well, it isn't really (I took some 1000+ there), but it's the end for the ones I'm sharing. I'm not great at expressing how I feel in words, so it's difficult to convey what exactly this trip meant to me and how much I loved every moment. Sweden is a wonderful, beautiful country, one of very few where I feel like I could happily live (aside from Canada, of course.) My time there was far too short, completely jam-packed, and absolutely perfect. From bright, calm mornings breakfasting with baby Nellie, to adventures with Sladjan during the day, to quality time with my tetka and tetak, and to wine-filled evenings with Danijel and Maria, pretending to watch films but actually just talking too long into the night.

Hej då Sverige... for now.

vɛkːɧøː

2011-07-22T13:14:00.000-06:00

One thing I love about European cities is that the centres are generally bustling with activity. Now, don't get me wrong -- downtown Calgary is by no means a ghost town. Compared to Växjö and some of the other (smaller) cities I was in, there are far more people downtown at any given moment than I saw anywhere else (by virtue of it being a larger city). The difference is that the majority of those in downtown Calgary are businesspeople who work in the core and spend their frequent breaks outside of the office. But it seems like most of the people I saw in European city centres were there to walk around, meet with friends, do some shopping, get some food or a drink, and just... be in the city for the sake of being there. I'm not sure if I loved that because going downtown just for the sake of going there is something that I do all of the time, or if that's something I do all of the time because I'm European.

So, a little taste of downtown Växjö (the first two are from a different day than the rest. As if that matters in any way.)

Count the cobblestones!

This outing consisted of sushi and shopping.

What I love in particular is that all this was very familiar to me from when I was there in 2006. Revisiting places you get nostalgic about is amazing, especially when you're not let down and it is in fact as good as your nostalgia paints it to be.

I just wanted to point out the McDonald's! Also: I had not eaten at a McDonald's for about a decade (when I crave terrible greasy food, I prefer other establishments) before last summer when my aunt and cousin came to visit. Sladjan and I got two large portions of fries and we were both flabbergasted at how ridiculously big they were. Apparently they're about 1/3 of that size in Sweden. And now I just want to make some fries.

This is a little bit odd, but... those tall trees are part of the most beautiful cemetery I've ever seen. I'm not really a fan of cemeteries and generally just find them sad (especially if they're overgrown and forgotten) but walking by this one made me feel so at peace. It was so well tended and full of life, if that makes sense. Vibrant.

Basically I just snapped photos haphazardly while walking and trying not to trip.

Gosh, I love a promenade.

What is that white stain...

Did you know that Carl Linnaeus went to school in Växjö? I'm not going to lie, this was genuinely interesting and exciting to me. Because I am a loser. Anyway, the locals seem to be very proud of this (who wouldn't be?) and the Växjö university (Linnaeus University/Linnéuniversitetet) is named after him. I'm a little envious. Stephen Harper went to my alma mater... which is a fact almost as boring as the man himself.

The Växjö Cathedral (domkyrka) -- I love the colours.

To end this, here is some apple pie my aunt made.

You're supposed to eat it with this specific cream. My aunt and my cousin both made their own versions and I had to try both and decide which one was better and where my loyalties lie. Honestly, though, they both tasted great! And why should I decide when I could have both?

Although when I looked over to my cousin's plate, I saw that I was not eating my pie correctly. The pie is actually just an excuse to eat a plate of cream, it seems. I followed suit.

And it was DELISH. I could really go for some right now.

Kronobergs slott

2011-07-19T20:43:00.000-06:00

My cousins took me to the Kronoberg castle ruin one beautifully stormy evening.

Gosh, I miss being around cousins. The only cousin I have in Calgary is 48, so we don't really hang out...

When we first set out we were a little disappointed because it was so overcast... and then we arrived to the castle and the sky was so stunning and dramatic and absolutely perfect. The ruin looked insane against that tempestuous backdrop. The rain started the exact moment we were back at the car, like the weather knew not to mess it up for us.

Flora

2011-07-17T15:41:00.000-06:00

Some Växjö nature...

And I don't want to come down, down, down

2011-07-16T02:32:00.000-06:00

I wish that when I came home late at night (or early in the morning...) I could just pass out immediately and sleep sleep sleep. Instead I need about an hour to, I don't know, rest? Before sleeping? That makes sense, right? Usually this mild insomnia is due to having had a great day and needing some time to come down from the euphoria. Sometimes it's due to having had a bad day and resisting sleep for fear of traitorous dreams. The best examples are after a particularly wonderful concert -- it is a 100% certainty that after seeing someone like Hawksley Workman or Danny Michel I will not be able to sleep for hours.

This morning it's the fireworks. The noise and the lights and the majesty of the moment made me gape like a child. My brain completely emptied and it was the most wonderful, glorious feeling. I've been trying to turn my thoughts off for weeks now and have just been utterly stymied in my efforts. The few minutes the fireworks gave me were spectacularly serene. How do I harness this (lack of mental) energy?

Muscle cars drove a truck right through my heart

2011-07-14T16:17:00.000-06:00

Every day when I look through another "new" batch of photos I think "oh my goodness, these are my favourites. No, wait, these are my favourites. Hold up..." I'm just so, so happy that I took 3535 (best number) photos while abroad because although I'll still be sorting through them decades from now, it is really lovely to look at a new and almost-forgotten crop of memories each day.

Yeah, so the ones from Sweden mostly depict my cousin and me goofing around and being idiots but hey! It's realistic!

Put it on, amen fashion. We have very similar legs but skinny jeans do NOT look this good on me because my hips make me look like an inverted triangle.

It was windy and we were running out the door (see: my still-wet hair) so my cousin gave me one of his button-downs. So unflattering on me.

Protip: Don't wear a tight short skirt if you intend to do any sort of adventuring. When we went to check out some castles later, Sladjan and Danijel basically had to lift me over a couple of fences because I legitimately couldn't separate my legs enough to scale them myself.

Framing this!

This tree was the coolest.

I, I wish I could be strong without somebody there

2011-07-12T11:39:00.000-06:00

Best song. Best memories.

Sladjan and I caught the suncopad (best made-up word) on a gorgeous Växjö lake.

(As always, all photos of me are courtesy of Sladjan.)

I, I wish I could be strong without the scheiße, yeah

Loving the priest look.

I, I wish that I could dance on a single prayer

I'll dance dance dance, with my hands hands hands, above my head head head, like Jesus said...

The Icelandic volcano Grímsvötn erupted while I was in Sweden. I prayed that flights would be delayed. I wanted to stay.

This and that

2011-07-11T10:57:00.000-06:00

Leaving Öland. Windmills were a-plenty, which makes perfect sense considering how windy it was. These old ones are no longer in use and have been replaced by modern wind turbines, although I'm glad that the Swedes decided not to tear them down. I wonder what the state of them is like on the inside -- it would be ridiculously awesome to buy one, make it liveable, and use it as a summer home. Why am I doing anything BUT this with my life??

ZNAK!! Sometimes I forget how to speak any language.

I love this because it could easily be rural Alberta. And I just want to run through a field of canola!

Okay, okay, okay. I know full well that "Pukeberg" is not actually pronounced "Puke-berg" but saying it like that makes me laugh and it is now my favourite place name. There was a lot of "ugh, ate too much, going to Pukeberg" after we saw the signs. Maybe I'm actually 12 years old. PUKEBERG!!

Some odds and ends I didn't post from the first couple of days:

Växjö centre. More later!

Under the water tower, jumping and yelling because it echoed amazingly and because we're five years old.

Eaten up.

Magic is a very demanderating mistress

2011-07-09T23:39:00.001-06:00

This was a fishing? village? on the island of Öland. Now. Cut me some slack, yeah? It's been well over a month since I was there and I generally can hardly recall what I did yesterday, so... It was also a very visually (and otherwise) overwhelming day (in a wonderful way) so I'm not going to be able to remember every detail. Like, oh, where in the world I was and other such trifling things. All I know (and all that's important) is that it was a beautiful day.

(Photo thanks to Sladjan. Was I falling over? It's likely.)

This is the Baltic Sea. As happy as I was to get to see the Baltic, it was CRAZY WINDY there. And (as those of you who have ever been outside with me know) I don't deal well with ridiculous wind. So I high-tailed it away from there after about a minute and a half and didn't even bother to try and capture its beauty. Some day I will come back to it and appreciate its glory the way it should be appreciated. Maybe in a windproof jacket.

Whatever it is you were doing, I love it. Never stop.

Uhh. I'm not going to lie, I don't know what this is. I'm pretty sure my cousin Danijel explained it to me but, you know, that aforementioned memory thing... I presume it was something to do with fishing, what with this being a fishing village (I think) and all. God, I would be a great guide.

This a really weird connection to me, but this particular little house brings back memories of my late uncle's vineyard and the cabin he had there. It looks nothing like it, there was no sea by his vineyard, there is no vineyard by this sea, but something about it brings back those times. The clearest memory I have is that of accidentally breaking an old oil lamp and feeling guilty about it the way only a child can, despite the adults not being cross in the least. That, and lunch on the porch, under grapevines... I want a vineyard.

We sat down for a much-needed break and some ice cream. I was a little on the cranky side because of the wind and the mosquitoes so I passed on the ice cream (foolishly). Fortunately an adorable baby was there to lift my spirits.

Gimme that popsicle

Oh god no get that popsicle away from my face

Giving it another go...

NOPE.

Danijel, trying to be a responsible father by feeding his daughter a banana while everyone else shoves ice cream in her face.

Oh man gimme THAT ice cream

Denied!

I see you there, not sharing your popsicle

I will accept this until a better ice cream comes along

...

A better ice cream came along

Babies have non-discriminating tastes; a fabric bow is just as delicious as a frozen dairy treat, and also inspires clenched-fist dance moves.

---------------------------------

Let me just take a moment to praise this:

YES. YES YES YES. Here's the deal: I have seen a lot of theatrical productions, including but not limited to musicals, operas, plays, ballets, circus-like performances, comedy shows, Broadway hits, local productions, children's, R-rated, etc., etc., etc. I can count on one hand the number of these shows that I didn't actually enjoy; the overwhelming majority have been splendid. Despite this, I still believe it's important to acknowledge the spectacular performances, even if they are the "norm" in my experience. I guess I like to give praise where it's due.

My point is that I saw Wicked today and it. was. incredible. It could just be because I've been feeling extra emotional and sensitive lately (or it's this wine,) but I found it overwhelmingly beautiful and had to bite back tears during many moments. The famous "Defying Gravity" moment left me with chills. Something about the way the light caught the dust, the way she was engulfed in darkness, and that powerful, glorious, victorious voice made me feel like everything would be okay. I go to the theatre to be entertained, yeah. But I also go to be touched and inspired and today was more than a success. Top five, absolutely.

Borgholm, continued

2011-07-08T13:32:00.000-06:00

Borgholm is a very quaint and charming little city. Its population is around 3,000! Despite this, it's still considered a city (for reasons of historical importance, I gather -- it is home to that glorious castle-fortress ruin.)

Did you know that a certain Swedish contingent is obsessed with old American cars? We happened to have arrived in Borgholm on a day when some sort of exhibition of such cars was occurring. Interesting! Side note: I find it really funny to witness European romanticizing of North America. It's just as funny to me as North Americans' romanticization of Europe. Having lived on both continents I think this is incredibly foolish -- both have some truly wonderful characteristics but neither is inherently better than the other. That said, I did really enjoy seeing this part of Swedish subculture which is not only in love with old American cars but also a sort of rockabilly look they seem to identify with Americans.

We strolled over to the marina, but not before sitting down to a much-needed meal. I could talk for a week straight about all the delicious food I ate while in Europe. Sweden was no exception! Chicken lasagna, cheeseburgers, sushi, BBQ, Gouda cheese all the time (I have never eaten so much good cheese as I did during this month, CRIPES,) Swedish apple pie... oh lord, I'm so hungry right now.

Hey (or Hej! in Swedish)! It's the Baltic Sea!

Oh, this is just how I normally walk (photo thanks to Sladjan, as usual.) And yeah, I wore the same thing two days in a row. It felt good!!

I cannot stop laughing at this!! I think it's his manic grin that does me in.

Both Sladjan and I had the same reaction to the shutter shade display: "Oh... is it 2007..."

Apparently (according to my cousin) the most popular colours for houses in Sweden are yellow and red. Cute!! The most popular colours for houses in my neighbourhood? Grey...

Sweet rides.

Who doesn't love cobblestones? Well, besides people wearing stilettos.

Beautiphone (dirty dirty rich rich.)

I traversed an ocean to come to Sweden... to see American flags...

BABY!!

Borgholms slott

2011-07-06T12:21:00.000-06:00

On the third day we went to the charming island of Öland.

First stop: Borgholm Castle or Borgholms slott (I don't speak Swedish but I ~~can if you like~~ plan to learn at least a little before the next time I go to Sweden. Until then, Swedish articles on Wikipedia will do!)

The structure originally standing where Borgholm castle is today was a fortress erected in the 12th century. It was rebuilt as a castle in the 16th century and eventually destroyed in a fire in 1806, leaving behind this captivating ruin. The aerial view is ridiculously cool.

Had to get some typical tourist photos!

Loved these low stone walls all over the place.

Have you heard of planking? Why do I find it so hilarious? I regret not participating (besides taking the photos,) especially because my cousin had some mild allergic reactions to the grass. I should've taken that bullet!

Go forth and plank!

But would you love me if I ruled the world, world, world

2011-07-04T23:29:00.001-06:00

There is something about piers and marinas that evokes a feeling of serenity in me. I don't even particularly enjoy being on boats but I love love love being near the water and there's just something about a docked boat that calms my heart.

Except when I'm standing on a narrow pier and someone walks past me. Hello, heart attack!! A fear that you might fall over (or be pushed -- why do I always fear this? People are really not that sinister. Maybe I want to push them in and am projecting...) into water is quadrupled when you're holding an expensive and not-waterproof camera.

There are some fun drunks in the background of this photo (when I say "fun" I am being sarcastic. Fun fact: many of my family members do not understand sarcasm! This is hilarious to me because they end up taking many things I say seriously, and become confused. I said "fun" too many times.)

Y'all wish your cousins were as fabulous and well-dressed as mine.

While in Europe I listened to nothing but Lady Gaga's Born This Way album (and towards the end, Russell Howard & Jon Richardson podcasts). This has significantly tied that album into my memories, making the songs that much better and more meaningful (and it's a great album to begin with!) I'm still not listening to much more.

These tree trunk sections made for a fun backdrop; too bad they had to cut down a stretch of forest for them.

My feet hurt so good pretty much the entire time I was in Sweden. I just didn't want to miss anything! I don't regret pushing through the pain in some insensible shoes (would it have killed me to bring some runners, though??), I would do it all over again and then some.

Nellie

2011-07-03T17:51:00.000-06:00

Are you someone who has always felt that they don't want children? If so, never spend time with little Nellie. She is one of those babies. You know the kind I'm talking about. So impossibly cute that you'll find yourself thinking "maybe this baby thing wouldn't be so bad after all..." or more likely (since the chances of getting one this adorable and good-tempered are slim) "how do I convince my cousin to let me take his child home..."

This is one of my favourite photos, purely because of how hilarious it is. Aww, look at the sweet angelic baby... WHAT IS THAT DEMON NEXT TO HER?! No biggie, Nellie is super cool and unfazed by her kooky uncle. Her father, on the other hand, was NOT unfazed when I pointed out that she probably inherited at least some of those same genes. You cannot be that beautiful (or, you know, a part of this family) and not be at least a little nuts.

When I look at photos or videos of her now, I cup my face in my hands and make a noise similar to "haaaugghawawuuau" in a baby voice. It's not embarrassing in the least!

With her papa. Hey, Danijel, sorey to bother you, but if you and Maria plan to have more children, could you make sure they're significantly less cute? I can barely handle this one.

Try not to yawn.

This is what we called "HAPPY BABY!" AKA Nellie every morning and post-nap. Cutest thing to wake up. Watching Pingu and "ga ga ga"-ing all over the place (a Gaga fan already!) and charming you into submission.

I finally understand baby-crazy people.

From far and wide, O Canada

2011-07-01T21:55:00.000-06:00

Happy Canada Day!

I'm not one for rabid nationalism. Nor do I subscribe to the notion that the country I reside in is NUMBER ONE!!! and that all other nations pale in comparison. I am, however, happy and proud to be Canadian every single day.

I was born in a country that no longer exists, one which has since been split into seven sovereign states. A country which had long been under a communist dictatorship. A country that would have easily sent you to prison for expressing a dissenting opinion. A country which eventually gave the world the term "ethnic cleansing (etničko čišćenje)," a new International Criminal Tribunal in the Hague, and a wealth of war criminals on such a scale that they are still being caught twenty years later (I was in Bosnia when Ratko Mladić was caught last month -- the celebrations were incredible.)

The day my family firmly decided to seek immigration to Canada came after the war was already over. It came when my mother was denied Croatian citizenship, despite the fact that my father had it, and my brother and I by way of him. It came when my father appealed to a man in high-ranking government position, a man who was a personal friend to grant my mother citizenship and received it easily. It came because my dad recognized how lucky we were to have connections, but did not want to live in a country where the only way you could have a semblance of a decent life was if you had those connections in the first place. So we moved to a country that gave us a chance.

My love of Canada stems from my beginnings. It is bolstered by the fact that this country allows me to feel both Bosnian and Canadian at the same time, to not have to choose one or the other but to celebrate in my dualism. It is upheld by the fact that, while they could (and should) still be improved, the basic rights I am afforded here as a woman, as an immigrant, as a human being are worlds better than any others I have known.

So I am not one for nationalism. But I am one for giving credit where credit is due.

Same DNA (but born this way)

2011-06-29T23:09:00.000-06:00

(Photos of me courtesy of Sladjan.)

Verde

2011-06-28T15:22:00.000-06:00

I, uhh. I'm still only on day 2 with these photos. Out of, oh, a month. Cripes! These will at least (I hope) finish off the first day, AKA "why not go for a walk instead of passing out from sleep deprivation" day!

Clearly not very happy to see me.

When I left Calgary, the leaves were just barely beginning to bud. Being transported to the richly green wonderland that is Växjö in the spring was absolutely gorgeous.

The weather was glorious.

Who knows?

This house has a face. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation that made me find this funny, but I'm perfectly well-rested now and still amused!

I really dug that pathways intended for walking or biking had street lights. Genius!

This day is a lovely sleepy green blur in my memory.

Follow that unicorn

2011-06-26T21:45:00.003-06:00

An otherwise delicious passion fruit & habanero cooler BUUURNS when someone makes you laugh while you're drinking and it goes up your nose. Swedish apple cinnamon wine is the greatest thing I've ever tasted, and apparently very local, which I'm not bitter about at all. Teaching everyone how to speak Canadian -- saying sorry like a Canuck: "sorey" and often. Watching a porcupine run across the field in the night rain. Bljadjan sux.

Just a handful of the small but significant memories that I don't want to lose.

"If I fall, it's going to hurt." "What's going to hurt?"

(All photos of me courtesy of Sladjan)

Let me just point out the big bumblebee flying near my head which is the reason I'm doing whatever it is I'm doing in this photo. Full disclosure: I'm actually not afraid of bumblebees! I just didn't know that it wasn't a wasp.

Hey-o!

Yeah, we're definitely related.

An homage to a moment in Calgary...

we can be strong, we can be strong

out on this lonely run on the road to love

A warm blanket

2011-06-25T15:20:00.000-06:00

Family. One of the best things about Europe is that almost my entire (gigantic) extended family lives there. One of the worst things about this is that I only have one cousin (+ his family) co-inhabiting a continent with me. A lot of the time I forget that most people I know only have a few cousins (and aunts and uncles) as opposed to my five billion. Plus their spouses, who are also family. Plus their children! And I love each and every one of them.

Here are a few of the beautiful people I'm thrilled to be related to:

Did you know that the cutest (half-Swedish, half-Bosnian) baby in the world lives in Växjö?

Love love love.

Tumbleweeds

2011-06-23T18:53:00.000-06:00

Tiny summer houses. Hidden away from the busy road by the forest, tiny summer houses that look like they could hardly contain a king-sized bed. I loved them! It's difficult to see how small they really are partly because there isn't much to provide a size comparison, and partly because I didn't get very good photos. No problem -- I'll just use it as yet another excuse to go back. Got to be true in my representations!

They remind me of Tumbleweed homes, which are adorable. I realize that they're not much different from regular caravans, but they're so dang charming! I want to buy one and park it alongside one of the numerous Swedish lakes.

Woodland

2011-06-22T14:06:00.000-06:00

Sladjan and I took a walk through a beautiful Swedish forest...

(All photos of me are by Sladjan)

just put your paws up

Lumberjack-chic.

Before we walked into the forest he said, "don't worry! There aren't any mosquitoes here." And then he picked four of them out of my hair. While I flailed rather unhelpfully. I think this is my face just after a bite. Moral of the story: never listen to a city boy when he tries telling you about the wilderness.

In this photo: I am being, or I have just been, attacked by mosquitoes.

Why, why did you lie to me about the mosquitoes?

First stop: Växjö, Sweden!

2011-06-21T12:11:00.000-06:00

Hälsning från Sverige!

I adore Växjö. It is a gorgeous, ridiculously green city, and home to my aunt, uncle, and cousins. What's not to love? This wasn't my first time in Växjö and it definitely won't be the last.

The typical Swedish fence.

My wonderful cousin Sladjan. Feel free to fawn over his hair and personal style again.

I'm no stranger to being awake for 30+ hours, but when you throw flying into the mix it becomes so much more exhausting. On the two hour train ride from Copenhagen to Växjö, my cousin sneezed and in the ensuing split-second my tired brain went 'in which language do I need to say bless you' and then 'Happy Birthday!' came to mind. Genius! That first day was spent in a pretty much brain-dead state, where my main thoughts were "ooooh so pretty so green so pretty ooooh I love Sweden." Which is not a whole lot different from my thoughts at the moment, actually.

YYC --> AMS --> CPH

2011-06-19T08:12:00.002-06:00

(Love that the runway is right over a street.)

Fabulous flight(s)! No throwing up! Eight hours fly by when you have personal entertainment screens and a constant stream of delicious food coming your way. I never thought I would enjoy eating on a flight but KLM proved me (happily) wrong. This gluttonous beginning also makes it no wonder that I (happily) gained weight this month, the kind of weight I normally struggle to gain in a year. Food: a substantial and delectable part of this trip.

R.I.P. Big Man

2011-06-18T20:32:00.000-06:00

Devastating.

T minus 1

2011-05-17T09:44:00.000-06:00

There is a fat bumblebee in this photo.

After a seemingly never-ending winter, there is finally greenery here! Just in time for me to leave. I'm filled with anxiety and i don't really know why I should be. Ack!!

Prairie spring

2011-05-14T09:28:00.000-06:00

Some spring adventures with Sanja...

What I love best is that this was within city limits (well, only just) but the nature of this city and this province is such that this is a completely normal sight. I haven't tired of it yet, though.

Shine a little light where you need it the most

2011-05-08T17:57:00.000-06:00

A couple of recent shows...

The Tallest Man on Earth, April 26th:

False advertising: he didn't look very tall at all! He did look a little like he could be related to Matthew Gray Gubler, though. Delightful. Eccentric. Swedish. A little manic, in the best way. Beautiful music. I had never heard him before (thanks, Jessa!) but I really enjoyed the show -- and as lovely as the music was, what entertained me most were his actions. Running down the nave of the church, throwing his guitar pick in a mock tantrum, "do you guys mind if I sit down for this song?" and more I can't remember because it was almost two weeks ago and I'm senile.

Jeremy Fisher & Séan McCann, May 7th:

Séan: "What you don't know is that this is Jeremy's condom.

I think Jeremy may have been employing the trick I often use: didn't wash my hair for a couple of days? Just put on a hat!

Oh, Jeremy Fisher. That man always delivers. I have never come away from one of his shows without feeling rejuvenated. He almost didn't make it through "Left Behind," a poignant and emotionally meaningful song, because things just kept going wrong. Pulled cords, broken guitar strings, broken glass, crowd interruptions -- and towards the end Jeremy just says, "you know what? The relationship didn't work out either, so it's fitting." Perfect.

I hadn't heard Séan McCann before, but I'm really glad that he was there. He completely won me over through his songs, their content ("sooner or later we're all gonna die"), and the humour. I loved his chemistry with Jeremy ("we're lovers now. He doesn't know. I do. I bought the vodka.") and was genuinely sad to see him leave before the end (to catch a flight home for Mother's Day.)

--> April 20th

2011-05-03T18:30:00.000-06:00

April in Alberta: not quite spring, not quite winter. Completely beautiful, in a dry and dusty sort of way.

April 28th

2011-04-29T15:48:00.002-06:00

Yeah, we're all sick of snow. But it's part of the charm of living in this city!